Recently, I noticed some small but significant changes in my body since I turned 30. Looking into the mirror one day, I discovered a few moles that were not there before. My partner found a baby grey hair that was starting to grow on my head. I noticed that my clothes don't fit the way that they used to; I am gaining weight around my belly and my thighs. These cellulite, stretch marks, and wrinkles are here to stay. Given my past struggles in my relationship with my body, I was surprised to find that I did not react to these changes with criticism, disappointment, or panic. Instead, I found myself observing these changes with a sense of calm curiosity. I realized that I liked what I saw.
I fought a long battle with my body in my teens and twenties. I fell for the media's unrealistic expectations for women's bodies at a young age. Since puberty, I tried to conform to society's beauty ideals because the ideals promised happiness and success. As an Asian woman living in the U.S., I also equated being beautiful with being White. Over time, I learned that chasing after these beauty ideals was a fruitless and hopeless task. I could not be more thin or more White than the body I was born into.
Realizing that I am starting to accept and embrace my body as I age was a welcoming change. Perhaps part of this acceptance comes with the third decade, as I hear that we generally feel more grounded, and happy, and care less about what people think at this time in our lives. I also think this newfound body acceptance is the result of talking about my relationship with my body, being honest about my body shame, and seeking out sources of information to challenge the beauty ideals (such as the TEDx Talk by Jean Kilbourne on "The Dangerous Ways Ads See Women") and finding validating voices that help me feel normal in my struggle.
“I wrote ‘Bootylicious’ because, at the time, I’d gained some weight, and the pressure that people put you under, the pressure to be thin, is unbelievable. I was just 18 and you shouldn’t be thinking about that. You should be thinking about building up your character and having fun, and the song was just telling everyone to forget what people are saying, you’re bootylicious. That’s all. It’s a celebration of curves and a celebration of women’s bodies.”
- Beyoncé
There are still times when the body shame comes back and I feel 14 years old again. In those moments, I look down on my belly and I tell myself, "I love you, no matter what."
Take the First Step Towards Body Acceptance and Self-Love
It’s completely normal to have moments of self-doubt and body shame, even as we make strides toward acceptance. If you’re feeling disconnected from your body or struggling with body image concerns, you don’t have to go through it alone. I’ve learned through my own journey of self-acceptance that embracing your body is a process - one that involves compassion, honesty, and support.
I invite you to schedule a phone consultation with our practice to discuss your personal relationship with your body. Together, we can explore the roots of your body image struggles and work towards creating a healthier, more accepting mindset. You deserve to feel at peace with your body, no matter the changes it goes through.
If you’re ready to take the first step toward loving and accepting your body, reach out today to schedule your consultation. Let's talk about how you can rewrite the narrative surrounding your body image and embrace your unique, beautiful self.
